How to train a drag….tortoise and possum lady…in Paradise!!!

              Maybe harsh?…but probably not. Some of you might have read a few months ago that I was offered a Captain’s position on board a Sailing vessel , a few weeks after that I was told by a fellow crew member that he had heard that they were selling the boat to a couple and that couple was to come on board and become Captain (tortoise) and Chef (possum lady). I confronted the Captain about this and he said that nothing was confirmed and that this was a trial situation and to stay on course for our agreement. I have, and the cheeks are sore from turning the other ways. I’ve been asked to not only watch as what I have been earning be given to someone who hasn’t done anything to achieve it, but also train him because he has no idea what he is doing. What you are about to read are notes that I have been taking over the last few weeks so that I don’t feel like I’m going crazy when I inform the current Captain of what I am observing and then seeing the Captain continue down this path. A very nice lady once told me to always take notes….and so I have.

• Dishonesty

• Takes food without permission

• Leading me to believe that he wanted me to take the clients because I knew the place better, but really was scared to run out of gas.

• No respect for authority

• Tried to convince me to hide mistakes from the Captain

• Quick to Anger

• Speaks with anger when he has to admit that he doesn’t know how to do something

• No respect for chain of command

• Tries to bypass chain of command to get what he wants during turnarounds

• Barking unnecessary grievances at me in front of the guests

 

1. While raising the sails the jib sheet was not secured under the headsail furler he gave unclear instructions to Possum lady to fix the sheet. She was midship messing with the line. I saw the loose line near guests and went up there and fix the line not even noticing her. A guest (Wes) had to step out of the angry tortoise’s way so that he could angrily tell me that I should let her do it. I tried to explain myself and he just repeated himself in the same manner two more times. It was unprofessional and disrespectful to me, as well as putting the guest in an awkward situation.

 

• Not calm under any pressure

• Anchor pulling

• Sail handling

• Turnarounds

• Blue Tang in shallow water

• Not agile enough to be of any assistance in any situation that requires it.

• Struggles to clip Blue Tang (small boat) onto freedom (Sailboat) (every time)

• Avoids transfers from Freedom to Blue Tang after towing

• Lacks communication skills

• Mumbles

• Gives commands to have already been given

• Commands things that are already in progress

• Says ‘Roger that” when he hasn’t actually heard what was said

• Gives premature information before they are true( line clear of Freedom prop, bow secure, etc)

• Damages property that he deems unworthy

 

1. Tearing of snorkel fins
2. Throwing away items despite Captain’s request not to

 

• Does not love Freedom (Complains about everything on the boat and how he is going to change)

• Cannot hear constructive criticism

• Shows no practical skills in sailing or boating

• Throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way and gives false info

• On the Rhone dive the tortoise told me that he was going to scuba diving and I wasn’t. After that statement he then proceeded to ask the Captain who he wanted to go with him. It was decided that the Captain didn’t need assistance because there was only one diver and that the tortoise would lead the snorkel. The Captain then invited me to join the scuba dive as a secondary camera man. When the tortoise noticed this he immediately became angry towards me and physically pushed passed me to get where he wanted to go.

• Outrage over asking him the spot light for me

• Outraged over running blue tang (small boat) aground on the same day he ran freedom (main ship) into the shallows

• Does not listen, and does not listen to orders

• Running freedom aground

• Arguing about how to furl in the sails in front of guest

• Multiple times while handling the anchor I’ve had to call him off of his path before damage occurred

• The last time we handled the anchor I let him have the illusion of being in charge and it took fifteen minutes to set the anchor in its cradle

• Disrespectful to crew

• As Jen comes out to help on the deck he tells her now she is going to do real work

• Staring at Jen while on gang plank rinsing off, even after Jen said something.

• Disrespectful to Guest

• After helping women guests into the boat he makes inappropriate comments on the their physique or where his hand was.

• Refuses to put things back where they belong

• Tools and tool bags

• Cleaning supplies

• Rags

• Openly mocks and complains about the Captain’s decisions to crew behind his back

• Made multiple comments about stealing items and claiming them for Freedom with serious intent.

• Does not follow instructions

• I specifically told the tortoise to power wash behind the small and big generator to later find out that he did not.

• 02/10/2017 I told tortoise I was going to push off the just the bow of blue tang from the dock at the customs office, he said “o.k.” and then pushed off the stern.

• Arrogance

 

• OBSERVATION:  After the captain had revealed that the two stainless steel cleaners that were in question ad little to no differences he was told that he could get the more expensive stuff and do his own comparison. The tortoise agreed. Several days after that I asked the turtle how his experiment went ‘He looked at me and said there is no comparison. Instead of following through with his word, he chose to blindly believe that he was right with no proof. CONCLUSION: Not willing to accept that he is wrong, even when someone has evidence of him being wrong

01/11/2017

• OBSERVATION: Goose had to explain how to put out fenders CONCLUSION: Does not know basic deckhand work.

 

• OBSERVATION:I explained to the turtle that we would be swapping that “new found” black fender for the repurposed horizontal fender that we used to fend off over the folded gangplank. He said o.k. And grabbed the wrong fender. I explained it two more times before he understood it. CONCLUSION: Does not follow instructions
• OBSERVATION: The tortoise gave an order that I was on Blue Tang for the wall approach without checking with the captain. He was incorrect and caused confusion on deck. CONCLUSION: Ignores chain of command and gives tasks without the knowledge of what is best. (repeated occurrence)
• GOOSE HEAR SAY: The tortoise and the possum told goose that they think that they can do charters by themselves with one additional crew every once in awhile.

 

• OBSERVATION: The Tortoise does not know the functions of the spring lines

 

• Mrs. Possum demonstrated that she cannot catch a ball by herself and showed insufficient communication on the bow. CONCLUSION: Does not follow instructions and communicate well in that task.

 

• OBSERVATION:

• Trey: Tortoise do you know how to change the water filters?

• Tortoise: Yeah, I’ve done it before

• Trey: I know you have done it before but do you know how to do it?

• Tortoise: Yeah…(blank look)

• Trey: You need to be confident

• Tortoise: Well maybe let me see you do it again

• CONCLUSION: Lied about knowledge of system; he had no idea how to do it at all…this is not a problem, as long as he doesn’t lie about it to begin with. If I didn’t grill him for the truth he would have attempted it with no knowledge.

• 02/11/2017

 

• OBSERVATION: I asked the tortoise if he understood the Perkins oil change manual, he said “Roger that” as I observed him skip steps three times while I was standing there and had to course correct.CONCLUSION: Does not follow instructions; no attention to detail
• We needed to clean behind the small generator I told the tortoise about the two nuts he has to take off so that he could get the front bar of the frame and pointed at them with a laser pointer. He said “Roger that” and proceed to take off the side frame bars, it took him 20 minutes to remove the two nuts for the bar. CONCLUSION: Does not follow instructions
• As part of the engine room power washing I told the tortoise twice where the 3M pads needed replacing, he said “Roger that”. When checking oil the next morning I found that not only he did not replace all the diapers but left a plastic bottle floating in the bilge that was clearly observed by both Captain and myself previous to the cleaning.CONCLUSION: Does not follow instructions, lies about his work, and no attention to detail

 

• GOOSE NEWS: The tortoise: “I don’t even like sailing” RECOMMENDATION: Get off a sailboat

• 02/12/2017

• On approach into mooring field at Caneel Bay

• The tortoise at the Helm: What about the red ball?

• Captain: We can’t use that, it is a National park ball

• The tortoise: O.k.

• Captain: Go for the lonely ball in front of the Catamaran

• The tortoise: (speaking to Trey): Does that red ball have a tracer on it?

• Trey: Yes

• The tortoise: Why does it have a tracer on it if we can’t use it?

• Trey:…………so that other people can use it…….it’s for the National Park use……….

• The tortoise: O.k.

 

• OBSERVATION: As guest are approaching Freedom for the first time, the tortoise is eating the nuts out of the bowl that is set out for the guests. Knowing he’s been caught he shoved the nuts in his pockets. CONCLUSION: Stealing food, terrible first impression, Unprofessional, etc

 

• OBSERVATION: Continues to eat guest food off of the galley table before it has been served

 

• 02/13/2017
  • The tortoise admittedly hadn’t dove in 3 years along with not being familiar with his gear, skipped the lesson and safety briefing and went in the water without Captains knowledge or permission.
  • Tortoise: (about to jump in)
  • Trey: Stop! You need to put air in your BC before you jump in.
  • Tortoise: I did.
  • Trey: Are you familiar with this BC set up?
  • Tortoise: No….and then proceeds to put air in his BC.
  • Trey: So when was the last time you dove?
  • Tortoise: 120 feet
  • Trey: No, when?
  • Tortoise: 3 years
  • Trey…………..huh!
• 02/14/2017
  • The windlass (the winch that pulls up the anchor) continues to struggle and so does Tortoise. He still struggles on the how not knowing how to manage the anchor effectively and got upset when I said that I didn’t want the screwdriver…not sure why. Pulling up chain was also easier doing it by myself because I could keep a steady rhythm.
  • While at the helm entering the mooring field I relayed the ball that we were going to catch, which was off the port bow. In order to catch the ball with our nose in the wind we needed to come wide right and turn to port within the last few seconds. Tortoise complained about how deep it was in the field and then said “Why don’t we just go straight at the ball?”…this was immediately after I explained  the approach and the wind direction.
• 02/18/2017
  • After I showed Tortoise how to properly protect the regulators and rinse them he said “o.k.” and then did it how he wanted to while he repeated what I told him to do it.
  • While the Captain was demonstrating how to properly rinse a BC, instead of listening, he looked at possum lady and smiled at her like captain was out of his mind.
  • While moving from one ball to another I witnessed possum lady put out the lines incorrectly and communicate 30 ft at 10 ft, as soon as she hooked the line, Tortoise told Captain at the helm that we had “One on!” She in fact did not have one on and was 10 seconds from having it. She then started pulling the mooring ball to try to get it back for the second one. I told her to wait and I’ll tell Captain to bump back. She said ‘No! No!…he has to go forward” I ignored her and gave the signal. The captain came forward and she was able to hook the second one.
  • Possum lady continues to refuse help in the craziest situations. She would rather carry 8 bottle of wine from the wine rack than to have help that was offered.
  • While waiting for second customs trip, possum lady stopped me and told me that I am never allowed to correct her again if she says something to the guest. I calmly told her that what she was saying was incorrect and that I cannot promise her that I would never do that again. She continued to barraid me in the cockpit while guest were just on the other side. Jen said that she could hear everything we said on the bow so I can only guess that the guest heard it as well. Possum lady went on to say things like “OH! Sorry, your mister wonderful and you’re never wrong” I said “Come on, that is not even close to being true, but that it is not a good time to have this discussion” she responded in saying “OH! It’s never a good time to talk about it with you”. I excused myself from her presence and joined Jen on the bow.
• 02/19/2017
  • Tortoise, Possum lady, Goose, Jen and myself were loading into Blue Tang and Possum lady fell from the deck onto the blue tangs tube, luckily without hitting her head or sustaining any noticeable injuries, she was immediately furious and wouldn’t let anyone help her into the boat. Tortoise was still on the dock and his response was also anger. He snatched the cart out of Jen’s hand saying he’ll do it like Jen was responsible, scaring Jen.
• 02/20/2017
  • Immediately after the briefing Tortoise and Possum lady had a conversation directly over the V-berth as I was in there about how the briefing was pointless and it changes nothing.

IT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU THAT I WILL NOT BE STAYING ON THIS BOAT AFTER THE CHARTER SEASON IS OVER, AND I AM TRYING TO KEEP MY COOL UNTIL THEN.